Narration/Commentary for an AV Sequence
Original notes by Lady Doreen Pollock of WAVES

Vocabulary should concentrate on commonly used words that people know; English words instead of foreign derivations; colloquial language instead of academic English; concrete words instead of abstract terms; short words.

Generally stick to one word for the same thing, eg ‘Brasilia’, ‘the capital, ‘the metropolis’, might be fine for written work but difficult for a listener to follow. Also the original noun should be repeated, and not replaced by pronouns (he, she, it, this, that).

Numbers should be rounded. Try to convert percentages into fractions, eg ‘over half’ instead of ‘65 percent’.

It is less good to say “only very few of the inhabitants have adequate drinking water’ -better to say, ‘the majority of inhabitants do not have....’

Avoid verbal nouns; use verbs, eg “Because border incidents are escalating’, rather than, ‘due to the escalation of border incidents’. ‘Observe” rather than, ‘Make an observation’.

Avoid long sentences. Main information should come at beginning of sentence.

Avoid an unending flow of patter - be selective, relevant and revealing, matching emotional climate of sequence. Omit information that is outside the bare essentials.

Repetition and not variety is what gets message across, eg ‘In the slums people live without drinking water, without sewers, without garbage collection, without electricity”.

Do not :

• Describe the picture [Add information or set the mood]
• Mention things not visible , eg talk of colourful market when slide shows early closing day (unless meant humorously), or talk of nearby large waterfall when scene is of oarsmen on smooth river.
• Gild the lily , eg avoid “Exquisite stained glass’, or ‘superb architecture” when obvious from pictures.
• Read [Speak naturally/act the part]
• Use familiarity or rough chat.
• Use clichés .

Possible styles :

• Guide Book ; “Originally built as a lodge in the 12th century, this ……..
• Family Scrapbook ; “Peter and Jane were looking at the fish in the lake when…….
• Flight of Poesy ; “As we gaze on this magnificent palace are we not tempted to echo the immortal words of…………….”
• Subject speaking ; “I am the locomotive of the 8.45 train from …………..
• Direct to audience (Michael Caine school); “Did you know that it takes a ton of rose petals to make only ten ounces of oil of roses?”
• Local Guide (Clive Gunnel school); “Now I’d like you to come with me to see the inside of this Church. Just look at that carving, it was done by………….

• Conversation by residents/visitors, statues talking.
• Unrehearsed conversation or interview; taped on the spot
• Postcard/Letter ; “Dear Margaret, we are now in...
• Very abbreviated - without verbs (heard on TV in relation to Chelsea flower Show); ‘Red; hot, passionate, dramatic - Green; gentle, restful, calming - Blue; cool, delicate, airy.”

One sentence per slide is acceptable, but monotonous. Better to run on the words,

changing slides in mid-sentence, so providing a link. “[Slide leather goods] As we wander through the bazaar we see these typical pointed slippers. We may be tempted by a neighbouring stall [Change slide to metalwork] where we can admire the skill of the local metalworkers.”

Commentary should clarify, emphasize, or amplify by providing information about what is seen. Never describe the obvious eg never say “This is our campsite filled with tents and caravans.” Rather say, “It took us all our time to squeeze our tent into the far corner of the Norton camp site, one of the most popular in the county. It was well worth the effort.” This stresses the fullness of the site, says where it was and where our tent was.

Commentary can bridge jump cuts (sudden change of scene eg

(1) family arriving at airport. (2) family in plane, with no intervening shot. “After a short wait at the airport we boarded our plane and in no time were airborne.”

A jump from town to country can be bridged by, eg, “Newmains isn’t all cranes and

concrete; the scenery at Woodypoint is quite delightful.”

Sometimes a few well chosen words can help to set a scene, eg shot of empty street may not need words but, “There’s not much doing in Bradford at 7.30 on a Saturday morning” is enough to tell the audience where they are, and when, and if a young boy appears next it explains why he isn’t at school.

If sequence is based on a poem the narrator can give a little background about the poet and his ideas or aims when he wrote the poem.

Occasionally a narrator can point to an important feature or something that might be missed by the audience. He can also cover a missing shot or lapse of time, eg if unable to shoot in a real dungeon a black (or almost black) screen with the narrator, telling his own story, saying, “It seemed more like days than hours before my captors returned” would cover the omission.